SHIFT – that was the word that took me through, over, under and apart in 2012! It was my third year of choosing my ONE WORD for the year and by October 2012 – I was sure it would be my last.
Don’t ask me what I expected of the word, please! Words to explain elude me still. What I can say is this: God took me, shook me, changed me, planted me and loved me straight through it! The very foundation of who I am, what I thought I deserved and needed….all of it changed – fast and hard!
At one stage I was convinced the word has become a disease…a terrible infection…altering everything I thought to be true, necessary and mine. I remember driving past the cemetery just outside of town in November and the word popped into my head like an oversized balloon! I wanted to dismiss all thoughts of “shift”…bury it right there in the cemetery…but then came the image of all the good things that is now part of who I am….because of a relentless God, who knew it was time for the shift in me and around me, to happen – He knew to cement new things into me, to open my eyes, to wake me up, to show me the more that to me looked like less!
Have not I commanded you? Be strong, vigorous, and very courageous. Be not afraid, neither be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. ~ Joshua1:9 (AMP)
As the last days of 2012 came to an end…I found myself asking Him, cautiously about my word for 2013. I had some ideas of words I would like…I even mentioned them to God. Giving Him some ideas – I suppose! There was REST – because as I told Him I wouldn’t mind a quiet year. A year of just resting in Him…and maybe some more sleep and less rush! JOY was another. You know, finding my joy in Him, in life, in all the things around me. I wanted a word that felt easy to me!
No word settled in my heart – by the 4th of January I was convinced my word is STOP – I kept seeing the word as I approached a “stop sign” on my way to the beach in Kleinmond. It made sense too – STOP worrying, STOP fighting, STOP running so hard, STOP-STOP-STOP! I could change the look of STOP into REST and that would bring me JOY – right?
Nope – not!
Saturday, 5 January, I was having coffee on the balcony when my word dropped in my spirit on the wings of the wind!
One Word for 2013.
I was so shocked it took me more than a month to settle into the word, to embrace it and to move beyond the fear that comes with it.
Merriam-Webster define the word as follows:
• to expand (as a statement) by the use of detail or illustration or by closer analysis
• : to make larger or greater (as in amount, importance, or intensity)
• to increase the strength or amount of; especially : to make louder
• to cause (a gene or DNA sequence) to undergo amplification
Now don’t get me wrong, the word immediately amplified my fear. That’s all it did for a month. My fear of living the true me – out in the open – unmasked – amplified to the point where it felt as if I was spinning on a restaurant floor with 18 tables to serve and no notebook to take orders! I was filled with such trepidation I thought it would be best to can the One Word for this year!
A large part of my brokenness
is was rooted in being told I am too much, from a very young age. I didn’t know what to do with that – how do you turn being too much into less? How do you become less when your whole being just loves the “much-ness” of life? How do you explain that you don’t want to be less, you want to live hard and loud and laugh and cry and feel! How do you explain to people who do not care to understand that being too much is not equal to asking for too much! I never asked for a thing – I just wanted to live on a larger scale, it was part of my DNA, it’s how God made me….because He knew I would need to love much and maybe be too much for some – to survive much!
Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice. Isaiah 41:10 (AMP)
Through the month of January God pursued by heart…and rooted my ONE WORD in my soul. Through some books, scriptures, long conversations with my best girl friends and the Guy I get to do life with….God made me realize that through the SHIFTING of 2012, He set the stage for me to embrace a word in 2013 that would not have been possible any other way!
It might be February already – but surely it’s not too late to start embracing my word for this year! I hope you might have a chance to journey with me as I explore the “much-ness” of life…!
What is your word for 2013?
How does your word make you feel?